


Take on the World

by angstyauthor (wedontwritelemons)



Series: Janis & Damian fics [1]
Category: Mean Girls - Richmond/Benjamin/Fey
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Im warning you, Janis Sarkisian whump, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, but its fitting, damian hubbard plays guitar you cant take that away from me, i dont like using the term whump, its a rough one boys, might continue, no beta read, vent fic, we die like mne
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-06
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:48:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24579328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wedontwritelemons/pseuds/angstyauthor
Summary: tw: thoughts of suicide (and an almost attempt)Damian had always been there for Janis, even if it wasn't physically.
Relationships: Damian Hubbard & Janis Sarkisian
Series: Janis & Damian fics [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1779616
Comments: 5
Kudos: 22





	Take on the World

**Author's Note:**

> The formating of this fic is a little confusing, basically its switched pov back and forth. Bold is what Damian is thinking/doing and the normal font is Janis.

**[Take on the World- You Me At Six](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EOazhFeUnfU) **

**Damian picked up the guitar case from the corner of the hotel room. He didn’t know why he brought it, he hadn't done guitar in years. Yet he felt the need to bring it house hunting.**

**His mom left the hotel about ten minutes ago to go pick up pizza, leaving Damian alone in the quiet hotel room. Janis and Cady weren’t responding to his messages, which was odd for Jan, but nothing out of character for Cady.**

**His mom got accepted for a new job about four hours away from Northshore. Four hours so far. It was his senior year, the year he and Janis had been planning since they were freshmen.**

**He rested the guitar in his hands, his eyes trailing the instrument. It's been forever since Damian played the guitar.**

**He remembered a song he wrote in freshman year. It was a time when Janis hit a pretty low, and he tried to make her feel better.**

**Damian’s fingers strummed over the string as he tried to remember the chord he used. When he found a tune that sounded familiar, the lyrics came flooding back.**

**“** **Just say the word, we'll take on the world,” Damian started singing softly, testing out the acoustics of the hotel room. “Just say you're hurt, we'll face the worst. Oh”**

Janis isn't quite sure when she walked into the bathroom, she could have been standing here for hours, or maybe it was just minutes. She stood in front of the mirror, her hands in fists, resting on either side of the sink.

Her hair was matted to her head except for a couple of strands sticking out. She was home alone while her parents went on their yearly mini-vacation a.k.a we’re gonna fuck for a week and not worry about Janis hearing. Her parents left yesterday and since it was Friday Janis just called herself sick for school. She certainly looked sick. The bags under her eyes seemed deeper than they were yesterday, despite sleeping all day. 

**“I can see, see the pain in your eyes,” Damian tapped his foot lightly, mindful of the room below him. “Oh, believe, believe me and I have tried.”**

**The art freaks group and the plastics merged after the revenge party, but it was clear to tell Janis was not ready to talk with Regina. Both the girls were making it hard for each other, but Regina more so.**

**Or maybe Damian was biased.**

**When Karen texted the group chat of the combined group asking Janis if she was coming to school, Damian wasn’t surprised that there was no response.**

**What did worry Damian was the lack of response from private dms. Janis always responded to him, no matter what, just as he did for her.**

**“No I won't, I won't pretend to know what you've been through”**

**It was no secret that middle school changed Janis. It hurt Damian’s heart whenever the pool party was brought up.**

**“You should've known, I wish it was me, not you”**

**When Janis and Damian first became friends, Janis apologized after everything that could be taken lightly the wrong way. She flinched if someone's voice was raised slightly in her direction, and was never quite sure if Damian was being genuine.**

**It broke his heart.**

**“And just say the word, we'll take on the world”**

Janis just wanted it to stop.

The noise in her mind.

The pain on her body.

The ghost ache in her heart.

Her thoughts swirled and mixed together until they became one constant buzz. 

The buzz grew loaded and loaded and Janis couldn't get it to stop. 

**“And just say you're hurt, we'll face the worst”**

**Damian remembers in freshman year he put an alarm in Janis phone titled “Daily reminder: Damian loves you”. Janis had just grinned and teased him for it, but sometimes all these years later they’d be hanging out and the alarm would go off.**

**Janis** **_claims_ ** **she just forgets to take it off, but Damian just wiggles his eyebrows and nodded understandingly.**

**“Nobody knows you, the way that I know you”**

If Janis followed through, would anyone really care? Beside Damian. But, he’d get over it.

Maybe it's selfish of her,

Or maybe she's right.

Damian wasn’t coming back until Sunday night, and her parents weren't coming back until wednesday. 

Nobody would notice until-

Until Damian came back.

Two days.

**“Look in my eyes, I will never desert you”**

**Regina would often try to get the group together to hang out and either purposely leave out Janis, or make it seem like she’s only invited out of pity.**

**So naturally when Janis stayed back, Damian would too. No way in hell he’s leaving the other half of his soul.**

**“And just say the word, we'll take on the world”**

Damian could be the coolest kid if he wanted too. Janis could tell Karen and Gretchen love him, and he could easily be popular. But he insists on sticking with Janis. 

She was just holding him back.

Damian could be so much more than an art freak.

But he sticks with Janis.

He shouldn't.

**“And it's the fight, and the fight of our lives,” Damian is vaguely aware of the group chat blowing up. Regina wants them all to go over to her house for ‘** **_a small party she swears_ ** **’. Damian doesn't bother to look, he just keeps singing. “You and I, we were made to thrive”**

**“And I am your future, I am your past”**

Janis couldn’t remember a time without Damian by her side. Even before the pool party, they were hanging out outside of school. He taught her what a real friend was, and it was the furthest thing from Regina.

**“Never forget that we were built to last”**

Janis felt her phone buzz in her pocket, so she pulled it out, swiping past the text about her attendance at school today. Regina invited the whole group to chat to her house for a small get together, ‘including Janis.’. 

She sighed, tossing her phone into the counter next to the sink. It was face up as she watched people confirm they’d be there, but she didn't make any move to rsvp. Janis wasn’t going to take a pity invite, especially without Damian there.

**“Step out of the shadows and into my life”**

**Damian had a gut-twisting feeling that something was wrong, like when you can sense something bad is about to happen.**

**He couldn’t put his finger on it, which made the sensation worse.**

**He shook his head, continuing the song.**

**“Silence the voices that haunt you inside”**

Janis just wanted the noise to stop. She wanted to go back to being numb. Her eyes caught the medicine cabinet next to the sink. 

Who would be here to stop her?

More importantly, 

_ Who would care? _

**“And just say the word, we'll take on the world”**

Janis reached out to grab her mother's sleeping pills. 

Wasn’t this where the doubt set in?

Wasn’t this where she started crying and wrote a letter?

Should she write Damian a letter?

The noises in her head got loud, but she felt an alarming calm for what she was about to do.

_ No one would care.  _

**“And just say you're hurt, we'll face the worst”**

**Damian looked at the lock screen of his phone. The group chat had died down, but there was still no response from Janis in any form. The photo of him and Janis that was his lock screen grinned at him, but he didn’t feel like smiling back.**

**“Nobody knows you, the way that I know you”**

**“Look in my eyes, I will never desert you”**

The pills rolled around in the palm of Janis’ hand as she stared at them.

She didn’t know what she was waiting for. 

The tears? The regret? 

There was none. 

This was the only way to quiet the noise. The only way to stop the pain.

The house was silent, there were no cars on the road outside, there was no longer a buzzing of her phone, yet her mind's nerves sounded louder. 

Janis felt like she  _ should _ be crying. That's how it always happened on the tv. Where they fucking romanticized suicide. But this was not a tv show. 

Nobody cared.

Nobody was going to break into the room and save her.

There was no romance.

There were no other options.

Janis felt cornered with one escape screaming louder than the rest of her mind. 

The pills in her hand felt suddenly heavy.

**“And just say the word, we'll take on the world, we'll take on the world”**

Janis lifted her hand up, her mind made to the point of no going back. 

As she tilted her head back a ringing on her phone cut through all the noise in her head.

She gasped, dropping the pills as the sound overpowered the buzz.

“Daily reminder that Damian loves you!”


End file.
